Home again

I got home from Alaska at the same time the children woke up this morning. Which was wonderful for us as a family, but terrible for me (the individual) who only slept a dab on the plane last night.

My work/life balance is incredibly tough right now. Work dominates and my family suffers, but the rainbow at the end of the tunnel is that this is all temporary.

On an intellectual level I love work right now. I love the challenge and the long productive days where everything I do makes a difference. On the personal level, I can't wait for this to be over so I can settle into a routine with my children and take away their mother-anxiety. If I didn't have children I would say I was following my calling as a business executive. But as I have children (and cherish being a mother above all else), the duality of my calling/reality makes it challenging to feel like I am able to succeed at both.

I know that I am not the first mother to go through this. I know that plenty of women have to be a great mama and a fantastic business woman at the same time. But at moments like these I question whether I am able capable. Something has to give and at the moment my children bare the brunt of it all.

Fortunately, Grandma is in town from the UK and Nick is being a superdad and compensating for the both of us. Life will go on.

Finn amazes us with his astute awareness and candid conversations. Poppie is a little more clingy than normal but is also doing a great job of dealing with teething and the challenges of inconsistency. I hope that everything we are asking of them doesn't take to hard of a toll and at the end of the day the life we are hoping to build makes up for the challenges they are facing at the moment.

As with all things, time will tell.