India talks

Outakes from a new life

Our afternoon walk led us down to the beach today. I gazed at the city while the children threw rocks into the water. India smiled contentedly on my lap. Life felt perfect. We love living here. 

Darling India, 1 month old

This boy loves his sister

Big brother

India had a check up today and is over 24 inches long and 11lbs 14oz. She is doing great. 

After a very challenging past few days, the older kids had a great night's sleep last night and woke up new children. It helps that the added sleep made me a new mom. (And for the record, my newborn wakes only once at night and my older children have been waking us at least once each, sometimes 2-3 times). 

But the one thing I can never complain about is their love for and acceptance of India into our family. 

Kissable

India, almost two weeks old

India will be 2 weeks old at 3 am tomorrow morning. Where did the time go? Her eyes are almost completely healed from the bruising except for a patch on her right eye and a bruise on her eyelid. Poor little thing. 

In other news, the onesie she is wearing is size 4 months, and it is not even that big on her. She is a hefty one and my arm gets tired if I carry her for a long while. I wouldn't be surprised if she weighs over 11lbs these days. 

For the most part, she is the mellowest baby ever. She hardly cries and is often content sleeping/growing, nursing/growing, or watching the world, particularly Finn and Poppie's world. She makes some cute little grunting noises when she gets hungry, maybe cries a little when she is struggling with gas, but other than that she is a little Buddha. 

Little India

We are settling into a routine in our little family and getting the hang of being a family of five. Nick has been ridiculously busy lately and I have to keep repeating our little mantra 'we chose this life, we chose this life...' to get through the long days (and evenings) without him. I have some great babysitters who have been acting as mother's helpers these past few days, taking the older kids out to play and cleaning the house during down moments. And our amazing tribe of family and friends have been bringing us hot, delicious meals every other day making sure we are well-fed and loved. 

India is 10 days old, and I am just entering the post-partum hormonal shift that makes me an emotional wreck. Just thinking about crying makes me cry and I have ridiculous anxiety about things that never usually bother me (point in case: Nick and a crew took a boat out to get some shots for one of his shoots tonight and all I can think about is him getting in a boat wreck, despite the fact that my able-bodied seaman brother is captaining  the boat, which is electric, and doesn't go faster than a rowboat, and they are going out in a lake in the middle of the city that is smooth as a pond). Ugh, hormones. 

Beyond the hormones (or maybe because of them), we are so thrilled to have another little baby in our life and both of us can't wait to have another, if the universe grants it. In fact, a part of me could have ten more. I mean, look at this little face, who wouldn't want more?

Two daughters

I have two daughters. Sisters. This is completely unchartered territory for me, sister-less, elder-of-three-brothers. I always pictured having at least one girl, but more than one seemed a little daunting. Will they be close? Do sisters fight more? What if one is beautiful and another more homely? What if one is smart and another less so? Can I love two girls equally? 

So far, in the first week of being a mother to two girls, all my pre-daughter fears are unfounded. Or at the very least, incredibly unimportant. These girls will navigate their own relationship just like Poppie and Finn have. My love for each of them is as unique as they are as individuals and no less full from one to the other. And will there be cat fights in the future? Probably. But they will be handled in the same way we currently handle fights over diggers (very hands-off, 'figure it out yourselves'). 

Poppie has been an adoring, if slightly uninterested, sister so far. With the birth of India, she rose in the ranks of Finn's affection and attention and is quite happy basking in the glow of his brother-love. When her attention does turn to India, it is always loving and sweet and full of kisses and covering of blankets. I am thrilled with how seamless the transition has been for our family and hope it continues to be so smooth.  

Sunday evening

India has awakened to the world over this past weekend. Her little eyes are still bloodshot from the birth and will continue to be for the next couple of weeks, but other than that, her little face is looking less bruised and she is showing interest in the world. Particularly her brother and sister, whose voices she turns to when she hears them in a room. 

Finn has been a wonderful big brother and is proving to be a strong influence on Poppie and how she interacts with the baby. They are both super loving and ask where she is if they have been out of sight for a while. 

Meanwhile, Finn and Poppie have grown even closer (if that were even possible) and are two peas in a pod. They don't do anything without the other and do a fantastic job of keeping each other entertained when the adults are otherwise occupied. I feel blessed that they are this close and hope their relationship continues to be as close. 

baby love

Today was a day of peace. 

This morning the children and I snuggled into our bed and watched a show and stared at (and petted) the baby. Then Nana came over and took the older ones out to play, came home for lunch and then took them to the Island for the evening. India and I had a couple of visitors, Nick and I got some moments alone to stare at the baby and the midwife came over to declare our baby perfect. 

I am recovering very well and much more quickly than I would have expected. I am little more tired than normal, but other than that, I feel like my usual self. Those last days of pregnancy were taking a toll on my body and energy reserves and I am looking forward to being my non-pregnant self again. 

Nick leaves tomorrow for a short photo shoot in Canada and my mom is moving in to help me with the children. I am looking forward to cooking with her, sheltering down with my babies and spending quality time with my own mother as I transition into being a mother for the third time. 

Love.

Welcome to the world baby girl

India Inez

Born at home

8th October 2013

10lbs 12oz

24" long

42 weeks, 2 days 

Birth Story

As many of you know, we have been waiting patiently for this little one to arrive. My 42 week of pregnancy came and went. There have been a lot of stop-starts and prodromal labor, every time leading us to believe that 'this is really it!' We have called in the birth team, called off the birth team and pretty much just got to the point of believing it might never actually happen. 

Last night was no different. My midwife had stopped by in the afternoon to check in on things and the baby had actually moved further away and up. It looked unlikely that anything would happen soon. My mom stayed for dinner and helped us put the kids to bed and then left for the Island. Nick and I went to bed ourselves and had a quick powwow about what would happen if the baby didn't come by the time he needed to go to Canada for his photo shoot. 

At 12:30 am, I woke up with a tingly sensation in my belly. It was not a contraction, not painful, but it woke me up and my first thought was that I should call my mom and have her catch the last ferry from the Island back to the city, which left in 25 minutes. But the stop-starts of recent past made me think I was crazy, especially without any real contractions. So I didn't call. However, by 1 am, contractions started. Around 1:15, I woke up Nick and we made some phone calls to Casi and my Mom. By 1:30 I couldn't speak through the contractions and we called the midwife. 

Nick raced around the house getting our birth pool filled with warm water, cleaning and getting things set up, while intermittently helping me through a contraction. Then little Poppie woke up and he scooped her up and tried to put her to bed, but ended up having to stay in the room with her to get her to sleep again. Meanwhile, I am going through transition (the most painful stage of active labor) and howling alone in the birth pool, jumping out on one occasion to get more hot water off the stove to add to the pool. By the time he got Poppie to sleep, I was pushing. 

Luckily one of our midwives arrived moments before her head was born, followed by Molly who was put to work by the midwife immediately. A few seconds later, the children woke up, my mom walked in the door and our other midwife arrived. And baby was stuck. With a tight cord wrapped around her neck. Nick was helping me get into a different position as the midwives stepped up the urgency and tried everything to help get baby out and the cord unwrapped. Meanwhile, Finn is asking questions that I am dutifully answering in between the howls of pushing. Poppie is watching rapt from my mother's arms. 

India had to be manually corkscrewed out of my body and was born with a strong heartbeat, but blue, limp and not breathing. It took a few very scary minutes to resuscitate her, but once she got going she howled so loud, the older children started to cry. 

All in all, from start to finish, we had slightly less than a two hour labor, just the two of us (or me alone when Nick was occupied with the children) except for the last 15 minutes or so. The children were an unexpected audience, but it worked out beautifully and I was happy they got to see their little sister enter the world. 

India is doing well and I walked away with not even a scratch (thanks to my midwife who helped me breath properly through the late pushing stages). We are so thrilled to welcome our little girl into the world. 

PS, Her face is a little smushy and bruised from her fast decent into the world, but she bares a strong resemblance to her older sister:

India, a few hours old

Poppie, a few hours old