On May 24th, Nick and celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. Many of you know the story, but 5 years ago, we were living in New York and I was about to leave for Alaska when Nick got the news that he was not going to get the H1B visa to stay in the US. And that he had 4 weeks to leave the country. So, we have three days to make a decision: travel back and forth between countries in 3 month increments forever, or get married. In two days. Without friends or family.
It was the best choice we ever made.
We married in a courthouse in Queens, the only courthouse that had a slot available in the next few days. We got married in the morning with our French roommate as the witness who spoke very little English, but took lots of photos. Afterwards, we sipped champagne on our roofdeck, ate croissants and fruit and packed our bags for Seattle. We left that evening I went to Alaska a few days later and Nick returned to New York for the summer.
One of the defining eras of our relationship was the experiences we had together before children and high-stress careers and the responsibilities of home ownership. That era was marked with education and learning, adventure and travel and meeting new people and great food and discovery: of self, of each other, of our passions in life.
During this era, Nick discovered that his passion for photography was more than a hobby and he couldn't sleep until he satiated his need to become a photogapher. I failed to discover exactly what I wanted to be, which was perfect because it meant that I was available to support him in his process while I discovered my own.
And of course, along the way we managed to buy the house and have the children and work hard in our respective careers. And to the month, 5 years after saying that 'I do', we find ourselves in a new era. With the weight of decisions gently bearing down.
Only this time it is my career under question, because of course, in the process of not looking for what I want to be, I have found exactly who I should be. And simultaneously, the decision of where to be, where to raise our children into adulthood. Nick and I were raised with a similar amounts of benign neglect on lots of land and because we know no better, we want the same for our children.
And like 5 years ago, we will trust that inner voice that says 'do it, this path is right'. Because if the next five years are anything like the last, the truest path to a great life is listening to that voice.
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| Moments after marriage. We dug through our closets and Nick put on his best suit and I wore my favorite white dress. It was perfect and un-fussy and completely and utterly us. I don't think I have been truer to myself that in the moments surrounding our marriage. |
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| I found a ring in my jewelry box to use as my ring and gave Nick the toe ring that I bought in India when I was 19 and travelling alone. It was fitting that he have the symbol that represented the most alone I had ever felt in my life, although just for good measure, my bone still has the indentation of that ring as a reminder. |
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| The ceremony took about 5 minutes. It was a beautiful day and we loved New York (and still do). The possibilities of the future seemed endless (and still do). |
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| A tiny image of the last choice we made as an unmarried couple: to go to Summons or to be Married |
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