The way things are today

I read a fascinating article from The Atlantic written by one very successful professional (and mom) who used to speak on the subject that women can have it all: a high-powered career, a happy family and balance. However, once her son was going through adolescence she recognized not only how impossible it was within her own life, but how detrimental it was for her to set standards that virtually no woman could attain. In other words, in her humble (and wise) opinion, women can't have it all (unless you are superhuman, super rich or self-employed).

Reading this article is incredibly timely because I am in the midst of the transition from being a professional with lots of responsibilities to a self-employed housemom. In the midst of the busiest time of my professional career I wondered how other women coped. I cringe as I write this, but the order of priorities was work, my children, my marriage and myself. And, as anyone with young children know, the first two priorities took up 99% of my available energy. 1% of my time and emotional energy is not enough to sustain a marriage or support myself to get through another busy day.

Every moment of the past 4 years I craved to find more balance. When Snopac went up for sale, I could hardly imagine what it would feel like to prioritize the children and my marriage and still have some time leftover for myself. And as my professional priorities start to wane (I am working until the end of September, but on a parttime-basis with a flexible schedule), I am finally able to work on that balance, but it is not as easy as shutting off one light and turning on another.

In this process, and I recognize that I still transitioning, I have found that my default is to fill up my days, and our family calendar with as many things as possible. Without intentionally meaning to, I was re-creating the hectic schedule that I have become so familiar with. Because living lightly, with less to do, made me feel less important. With some gentle coaching from Nick and my mom, I am slowly learning how to do less. In our lives, this means saying no to extra travel and trips so we can spend more quality time at home together. It means taking one outing a day with the children instead of being out all day. It means taking advantage of the fact that we have a nanny to help us through the transition and not feeling guilty if I take some time to go swimming or for a run (if only I knew how much children would change my available time, I would have been the fittest in my life, read more books, visited way more museums and learned two languages. What did I ever do with all that time?).

I am not sure that I have left the professional world forever. In the meantime, I am working on a project with my mom and another sucessful, creative mom to start a blog about parenting and projects. I am starting to work for Nick, and if we can build the business the way we want, I will have my plate full of projects there too. And of course, there are the children and the possibility of expanding our family in the future (future, not now). More than enough to keep this girl busy.

The next challenge in life is to find the sustainable balance, so I can do it all. And still be happy.