Play

We haven't really discussed this on the blog in any great detail, but it has been a real challenging integration for Finn since Poppie's arrival. There was some violent behavior (towards Poppie and towards us), lots of tantrums, 'accidental' daily breaking of valuable things (bowls, trinkets, cameras, glasses, bottles) and general terrible-two behavior that we have worked through months ago. I cried multiple times a day for the first week, Nick was beside himself and thank goodness for Nana who kept her cool and kept Finn cool most the time.

I have been reading every book, article, forum, and story on sibling integration that I can find. I have asked every person I see what they experienced with their children. We have solicitated the advice of a Jungian psycho-analyst and we have explored mythological stories of sibling relationships. I have spent hours dissecting Finn's behavior and solutions with my mom (who is an expert on everything parenting and I value her perspective and advice immensely). We have tried all sorts of different techniques and behavior-modification approaches with no luck.

Then, the other day in the car as we were driving to run errands, my mom turned around and pinched Finn's leg playfully and told him 'Don't you DARE go to sleep'. He wasn't even close to going to sleep, so he thought this was hilarious! He closed his eyes and pretended to sleep and she grabbed his leg again and said 'Open your eyes! Don't go to sleep!' He laughed and did it again and she responded playfully again. They continued a playful banter througout the errand-running session and by the time we got home from our errands, he was so filled up with playful, loving energy, he was a really good boy for the rest of the day.

And then it hit me: since Poppie's arrival, everything has become so serious. Nick has been frantically working on a major project and has not been able to give Finn his normal amount of fun, playful energy. I have been so wrapped up in protecting Poppie from Finn that I have been no fun either. And up until Poppie was born, Finn had a huge community of fun people around him constantly: all his Uncles (who are great, wild fun), Auntie Casi, Papa and Nana, and lots of stopper-bys, many of whom have moved on and are not around anymore.

So, I made a mission to make, be and have more fun with Finn. In that stupid, goofy, 'don't fall asleep' sort of way. And it has worked a charm. He has been such a good boy. Sweet to his sister, kind to his parents and loving to everyone else.

Mama and Finn having way too much fun in an over-full bubble bath

I don't have any expectations that we have cured our boy of the challenges of being a sibling, but at least it is a positive start!

xoxo