Alternatives

 Today was one of those days when I felt sorry for myself at least a dozen times. Which is really unlike me as I think that self-pity is a rather unattractive emotion. My motto is 'what are the alternatives?' which even in the worst state of mind, one could always think of an alternative that is not nearly as attractive as your current circumstance.

I had one of those poor parenting blunders last night where I was trying so hard to get Finn to think of (and fall a-) sleep that I actually fell asleep myself at 7pm. And awoke with a start at 9pm, a perfect length for a nap. Needless to say, I couldn't get back to sleep, but was too tired to do anything productive, so I not only wasted an evening, but the children woke up extra early this morning, allowing me a healthy 3.5 hours of sleep last night.

I dragged all day long and missed Nick (but then thought of the alternatives, and what could he even do if he were home? Drop work and tuck me into a 2-hour nap in the afternoon? Probably not. Onwards, soldier.) So I went about the day pretending I wasn't going to drop from exhaustion and fooling very few, including my children.

Look mommy, I made you a cozy nest! Finn exclaimed from his hideaway built by play mats at the local gym where I workout and who also have a huge play gym for kids during the middle of the day. Poppie came running and bowled me over into a big laying-down hug and stayed there. They knew.

And if that weren't enough, Poppie wandered to her room straight after her bath and tried to scramble into her crib by herself at 6 pm. I haven't heard a peep since. And sweet little Finn brought exactly the allowed three books to be read (the norm is a battle between 5 and 10 books with lots of hmm-ing and haw-ing about which ones to eliminate) and fell asleep gracefully at 6:30.

I felt sorry for myself today, but there are no alternatives that I would even consider.